Today I was terribly tired. Around midday, my body felt like it was decaying at a very slow rate. Like in chemistry the decay rate would be like I dunno a small number. (Or wait, actually if I’m feeling more tired should I be decaying at a faster rate? dafuq…) Like, I could feel my arms and legs seriously just melting and slapped my head onto my desk even though was strewn with documents. (Eff organization n e wayz, ya hear that Martha Stewart?!?!?!!).
I was so pathetically tired that I pretended to look for something on the ground underneath my cubicle so that I could crawl into the deep space below my desk and sit there for a while.
FATIGUE!!!!!!! It is something that mules are familiar with!!!! (Here I am talking about the greek mules I saw in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 that have to carry fat people sideways with their fat bags. FATIGUE IS TRULY ABHORRENT.)
It is something pregnant women know!!!!! (I hear that women can tear their vajayjays giving birth. FATIGUE KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES.)
It is something slav—ok I am not going there because politics and people = idiocy, guns, and a chant of U-S-A somewhere.
Anyways, as I tried to cope with my sagging body, I began to think of why I was so tired….an excellent segue into my current activities.
2 possibilities that could explain my fatigue:
Could it be 1) that have been exercising so that my body now resembles Jessica Biel’s….mom’s…..if she was on crack? In other words, I now reflect a dancing queen mixed with the sensuality of a leper.
Jk seriously though, 12 lbs are like pockets of air in my hands. (douche attack)
Or perhaps is it 2) that I have been staying up late reading the beloved literary work known as FIFTY MOTHERFUKING SHADES OF GREY?!?!?!
Which by the way, is rather amazing and not as filthy/disgusting/whorey/rabblerousing as crotchey people think it is. I would recommend this book to my Jessica Biel’s mom, it is that great. (More thoughts on this later.)
My conclusion is that it is probably a combination of my sore sexy leper biceps and my lack of sleep induced by voracious reading.
Therefore, to prevent fatigue from encroaching tomorrow, I shall slap it’s hands away, say nay, I shall not succumb!; I will abstain from reading tonight.
To a less dreary day tomorrow!